Posts tagged ‘sex’

Venusday Love (aka Sex-u-all Saturday)
| July 7, 2007 | 7:02 pm

The Politics of Gender

Male, female, het, gay, bi, transsexual.
Butch, femme, transgender, FTM, MTF, cisgender.

It’s pretty confusing, even for those of us who consider ourselves to be othergendered! Me, I like “Queer”. I mean, I could break it down for ya, if you really need a label. Try this one on: I am a: Lesbian identified Stone-Femme Queer. Howz that?? My partner is a: Gay, Soft-Butch, Lesbian. She likes “Gay” while I prefer “Queer”. Still, for me Dyke, Gay, Lesbian, Lez, Lezzie, Homo, Rug Muncher; whatever… they all work. (I’m not so hot on “abomination”, though.)

Are these merely “gender identities” in a world where the cultural norms have previously been designated by a patriarchial political, religious understanding? Or is it possible that we’ve overlooked some folks in our understanding of gender as based on sexual organs?? Are there actually more than 2 genders?

As we expand the boundaries of our understanding of sexuality, desire, cultural taboos and freedom of self expression, we’re also expanding our understanding of gender. Well, maybe understanding is a bit strong. Traditional western religion would have us believe that gender is a purely dualistic/binary thing. Adam and Eve, procreation and all that. That anything outside of that is “wrong”. At worst an “abomination”, at best a mistake of nature.

At GenderdotOrgyou can find an excellent variety of gender related articles, statistical reports and more. Among the various tools there the (.pdf) Gender Variance Model and the (.pdf) Guide to Using the Gender Variance Model.

The model and guide above are teaching/lecture tools to be used to assist in gender education, so are pretty easily assimilated if one begins with an open mind and a bit of self awareness and life experience to go with it.

Readers might want to download at least the Model above, to help follow along. But the guide itself is a worthwhile read, and I’ll only be using snippets here. (It’s tiny. Only takes a couple of seconds even on dialup)

From the guide: Intro

Transgendered people are the most stigmatized and misunderstood of the larger sexual minorities (Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, Transgender). Since gender follows physical sex for most people, transgenderism and even transsexualism are almost impossible to understand by those who are not transgendered themselves. While transgendered people are most familiar with gender variant expressions and cross-gender identities, there are many other forms of gender variance exhibited by all kinds of people – regardless of their social or gender identities. Revealing these other forms of gender variance shows how common it really is – and thus provides the all-important context for understanding transgendered people.

The basic concepts are as follows:

First, we must separate sex from gender:

Sex is the physical anatomy and biology that determines whether someone is male, female, or intersexed (formerly called hermaphroditic)

Gender is a psychosocial construct used to classify a person as male, female, both, or neither. Gender encompasses all of human behavior, including sexuality.

Those people who cannot or choose not to conform to societal gender norms associated with their physical sex are Gender Variant. It is very important to stress that many people choose to be gender variant in some form and do not consider themselves ‘born that way’.

Alot of folks would fall into non traditional gender variances without even realizing it. For instance the male nurse, the female construction worker, the long haired male, the agressive/outspoken female. These are all Gender Variances, albeit small ones. Today, most of us take these gender variences in stride. Not all that long ago women wearing pants would have fallen here. As the cultural norm changes, so does the level of gender variance.

Transgender is an umbrella term used to describe visibly Gender Variant people who have gender identities, gender expressions or gendered behaviors not traditionally associated with their birth sex.

Transgender is often mistakenly understood to mean Transsexual. Transsexual people, who have undergone or seek to undergo sex reassignment, comprise a minority within the transgender population. Most transgendered people do not wish to change their sexual anatomy.

Transgender can also mean anyone who transcends the conventional definitions of ‘man’ and ‘woman’, and who use a wide variety of terms to self-identify.
Transgendered people are usually categorized by their Gender Vector, which describes the direction of the gender change. The two gender vectors are Male-to-Female (MTF), or Female-to-Male (FTM).

It’s important to clarify two common misconceptions about transgenderism :
Transgender is not a sexual orientation. However, it is a sexual identity that has become politicized, and so it is now commonly added to the list of other sexual minorities, which are sexual orientations – as in Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual and Transgender.

It’s important to note that this is where alot of folks, even those within the LBGTQ community, become confused. Why does a MTF Transperson then live as a lesbian? Many people will assert that if a man believes he was born to a be a woman then s/he “should” be attracted to men. The movie NORMAL, starring Jessica Lang and Tom Wilkinson addresses alot of trans issues in a believable and touching examination of love. Why does the Butch lesbian find herself more often attracted to “straight” women who seem not to fall into the category of gender variant? Women who appear particularly feminine, as our culture perceives/defines it? Could these examples lead us to the reasoning that there is more to the question of gender than “identity”? Could there possibly be more than two genders based on biology/sex?

There’s alot more info in the guide that I’m not going to cover, and alot of resources on the Internet for anyone who cares to further explore their understanding of gender and gender identity, but this is it for today from your favorite (dare I hope?) Queer blogger.A good place to start is Gender Watch at ZNet.

I extend a challenge to you my most excellent friends and readers. Just as an excercize in self awareness. Make a list of ways that you might be gender variant. Don’t panic, my lovely straight friends, your gender variances don’t make you “other gendered”. Just a way to look into the subject based on current societal norms, and perhaps the insight will assist in your understanding of other people. Have fun and open your minds and hearts!!

Now, regular readers of Thorne’s World know, I offer you a treat. Your reward, if you’ve made it this far, (although I’m sure some of you horndogs skip to the bottom just for these links!!). Venusday erotica links. Since this is my first official post at SirensChronicles, I’ll include a little disclaimer:

the author is not responsible for the reader’s reactions to the materials in the following links. The content included may be offensive to some readers and is not intended for minors. If the reader finds her/himself getting flushed, having a rapid heartbeat or other symptoms of excitement, i
t is the reader’s responsibilty to discern whether the symptoms are indicative of the necessity of a 911 call, or of a good time.

How was that for a “little” disclaimer?!

Both of today’s selections come from textfiles.com. Your first enticing romp is a trans fantasy that would make even the straightest het’s libido rise!! (Remember folks, spaghetti is straight; until you heat it up!!)

Fantasy Cruise part 1
Fantasy Cruise part 2

Our second story is a doozie, entitled To Worship You
It’s a sexy psychological romp from the mind of a het Bottom (Switch) Playing at top in a BD/SM scenario. Juicy!!!

I’ll be back next week with more Venusday fun, so until next time, remember everybody:

Make Love Not War!!!

Humpday and Thursday Thirteen (or: Lesbian Lust)
| June 21, 2007 | 1:31 am


Thirteen Things about Thorne’s World

Humpday (In the Lovliest Way)

AfterEllen Hotlist
I found this over at Doug’s, and after looking at the whole list I know once again, that I’m an odd duck! Not that these women aren’t “hot”; I suppose each they are in their own way. But are they “hot” to me?? As in, could they get me hot? Would I beat off to the thought of some wild fantasy that they were in?? Are they just cute or shapely or are they actually, deliciously phuckable?

So excuse me, my fellow feminists, while I thoroughly objectify these women to suit my own fantasies.

So, counting down:

Thursday Thirteen Phantasy Phucks


13)

Anthony Hopkins

(Because I have a dick tooth and because every self respecting lesbian should have at least one fantasy guy. Just like every straight should have at least one fantasy ?? …) Of all the men in the world, if there’s one left that I’d hop into the hay with in a hot heartbeat, it would be Sir A. (And to think I passed up the chance when I had it because I was in a relationship at the time. Sometimes I could just shoot myself for being a true blue type! LOL)! Sheesh!


12)

Angelina Jolie

Grrrrr… that mouth!! I could eat her lips. (But only tomboyish, like Gia, is prolly my fav) More hot Angie pics:back shot, casualbeauty


11)

Xena

That’s right, Xena. Not Lucy Lawless. LOL. (Hey, we are talkin’ fantasy here…)



10)

Renee OConnor

Pretty much any way I could get her. She brings out my inner butch. More hot Renee pics:sweet, sultry gabbi


9)

Ellen

Yup. Sweet, goofy, funny, sexy in her casual girlyboi way. (Oh please… if the Gods are good she’s a top!)


8)

Queen Latifah

Mmmmm Hmmmm! (And I’m not all that hot on “big” when it comes to boobs, but grrrr111!) All the way ’round, but puh-leeze! In Chicago?? Mommy, spank me! Another hot Queenie pic:elegant


7)

Amelie Mauresmo

True. All true. Sexy… a great face with lots of character, not exactly pretty but still, that body?? Those arms? Legs? Hot. Athletic/boyish; that sexy roman nose. Yummay!! More Amalie pics:Victoire!, Joyeaux Amelie!


6)

Mary Stewart Masterson


Another who didn’t make the list. More MSM pics:At the river, Cat on a Hot Tin Roof


5)

Emma Thompson

.
I’ve had the hots for her since forever, I think. Those crooked teeth! Mmmm! Sweet! More Emma pics:Sultry, Much Ado


4)

Sandra Bullock

Either way. Boyish or girlish; top or bottom. Yummi! ( There are so many hot shots of her in the internet, she is so sexy in nearly any of the many looks that she makes a perfect sort of ready made fantasy! LOL just pic a pic!! In fact, she started at number 10, so…)More Sexy Sandra pics:Feathers, Beautiful, Schoolgrrrlll, PonyTails n Boots, SEXYYY!!!


3)

Amy Ray

(of the Indigo Girls)
Passionate, sexy, tattooed, talented… and that nose! (What is it with me and noses?!) More Amy pics:Nice Suit, Tortured soul, with guitar


2)

Hilary Swank

Yup. Scrawney, wirey, androgenous… I don’t think so! Hot! With that wide mouth and absolutely scrumptious breasts (about as near to perfect as they get, for me).More hot Hilary pics:jeans, transparent smile

Drumroll, please………

But in the end. I’m a Femme. Oh, K.D… Be still my foolish heart (heart?! Well, somethin’s sure pounding!)


1)

K.D Lang

She didn’t even make the list! I tell you, I was happily married to the man of my dreams (literally) when this cover of Vanity Fair came out in 1997. I would have given my freaking eye teeth to be in Cindy’s place. But then, I was… if only in my dreams.

Links to other Thursday Thirteens!
1. (leave your link in comments, I’ll add you here!)

The cat’s midnight meanderings:The Cat is my Copilot

Xilly has some mind games for us.

TFWY thinks we’ve forgotten how to laugh

Stop by Tink’s place for some insight into Summer Solstice Traditions

Sit on the deck overlooking the Lake with Lara and listen to some of her favorite tunes

All you writers who need a little inspiration, be sure to check out what Amy did when she found out her novel was going to be published!

Get the Thursday Thirteen code here!

The purpose of the meme is to get to know everyone who participates a little bit better every Thursday. Visiting fellow Thirteeners is encouraged! If you participate, leave the link to your Thirteen in others comments. It’s easy, and fun! Be sure to update your Thirteen with links that are left for you, as well! I will link to everyone who participates and leaves a link to their 13 things. Trackbacks, pings, comment links accepted!

Venusday Love (or: Sexual Saturnday)
| April 28, 2007 | 9:25 pm

Now that’s what I call sexy!!!
*Image note: Via betmo via dizzy dezzi.

I woke up early this morning and made our coffee. It’s nice to “spoiler” instead of the “spoilee” once in awhile. (And to be honest, it always comes with many rewards!!) The kids are enjoying their little family out in their trailer today, with Aaron home from work for the weekend, and that leaves the lesbian Grama and Grammy free for another Sensual Saturnday! In a bit, just a little later, I’m going to read these stories (all three) to my GirlyBoi and see if I can’t spoil her a little more.

I’m likin’ this new embed a song deal. Thanks again to betmo for doing the research and passing along the info.

Today’s song is raw and powerful. Not for all tastes, but a worthwhile listen to expand one’s mind if for no other reason. The GirlyBoi says: “The music’s alright, but the lyrics suck”. My hopelessly romantic Butch!! She’s so sweet. (But luckily for me, she does know how to do it, even if she doesn’t care to listen to songs about it) because I, on the other hand, can really get behind the primal sort of passion expressed in this song. I mean, I love to make love, but every once in awhile a serious fuck is definitely in order. I like the “Closer to god” reference, too, and love the expression of getting to that Mystical Union place from raw animalistic fucking, instead of the usual sort of romantic and Tantric descriptions. In Thorne’s World, both ways are valid avenues of approach. It also speaks to the addict/escapist part of me, as nothing gets me out of my own head like serious animal style fucking!

So have a listen, and do comment! I’d love to hear how others feel about this. (The last verse is practically whispered. You’ll have to wear headphones or just take my word for the lyrics).

Artist: Nine Inch Nails
Album: Closer To God
Title: Closer

you let me violate you, you let me desecrate you
you let me penetrate you, you let me complicate you

(help me) i broke apart my insides,
(help me) i’ve got no soul to sell
(help me) the only thing that works for me,
(help me) get away from myself

i want to fuck you like an animal
i want to feel you from the inside
i want to fuck you like an animal
my whole existence is flawed

you get me closer to god

you can have my isolation, you can have the hate that it brings
you can have my absence of faith, you can have my everything

(help me) you tear down my reason,
(help me) its’ your sex i can smell
(help me) you make me perfect,
(help me) become somebody else

i want to fuck you like an animal
i want to feel you from the inside
i want to fuck you like an animal
my whole existence is flawed

you get me closer to god

(through every forest, above the trees
within my stomach, scraped off my knees
i drink the honey, inside your hive
you are the reason, i stay alive)

Today, in honor of my GirlyBoi and her sweet sensitivities, I’m going to start with a well written piece of Xena Warrior Princess fan fiction.

A little backstory for those who may not know. Although the characters of Xena and Gabrielle are portrayed as “straight” during the 6 season TV series, (albeit with a few bits of subtle and not-so-subtle innuendo), they commanded a large lesbian audience due to the theme of deep love and mutual “completion” that the two characters experience. There is a huge fandom, many of which who write fan-fic under various sub genres from “uber” (X and G set in different times/reincarnations, etc), and “classic”, (stories that generally follow the storyline and characters of the series) and then to sort of sub sub genres of “alternative” (exploring the erotic/sexual love between the two women) as well as “erotic” (general sex straight and gay and bdsm, etc.) These are kind of general categories. The writers and collectors are, for the most part amateurs, so the genres and sub genres aren’t always clear. Nonetheless, there are some decent writers in the bunch, a few of whom have gone on to be published. The most inclusive example of Xena FanFic I’ve discovered resides here, at The Bard’s Corner

A very well written story by Linda Crist, entitled Wings of Love is sweetly erotic without being descriptively sexual, and gives a lovely insight into the type of romantic sexuality that many lesbian Xena and Gabby fans (among them my GirlyBoi) enjoy. I have to admit that that as an avid reader as well as a very imaginitive and visual person, I do enjoy this type of implied erotica since I get tired of the limited vocabulary of much of the harder stuff.

That said, here is another Xena/Gabrielle story with a bit more “meat” to sink your teeth into. This one is by Klancy7 and is entitled Warriors In Need and includes a “Disclaimers for mild violence, and implied, but not genuine, nonconsensual sex”

On another topic entirely, but keeping in theme of Venudsay Love (aka Sexual Saturnday), the next story seemed particularly apropos after watching the Barbara Walters 20/20 show on trans kids. It was touching and incredibly courageous.

So, I offer a reasonably unique trans story entitled Transsexual Temptation And Straight Desire for your fun and possible edification.

Guys, (males; men), do give this one a try. It’s pretty sexy and you might just be surprised. Grrrllls… it worked for me too with just a tiny tweak of my usual imagination.

Have a great Venusday, everyone and remember:

Make Love, Not War!!!!