It’s pretty confusing, even for those of us who consider ourselves to be othergendered! Me, I like “Queer”. I mean, I could break it down for ya, if you really need a label. Try this one on: I am a: Lesbian identified Stone-Femme Queer. Howz that?? My partner is a: Gay, Soft-Butch, Lesbian. She likes “Gay” while I prefer “Queer”. Still, for me Dyke, Gay, Lesbian, Lez, Lezzie, Homo, Rug Muncher; whatever… they all work. (I’m not so hot on “abomination”, though.)

Are these merely “gender identities” in a world where the cultural norms have previously been designated by a patriarchial political, religious understanding? Or is it possible that we’ve overlooked some folks in our understanding of gender as based on sexual organs?? Are there actually more than 2 genders?

As we expand the boundaries of our understanding of sexuality, desire, cultural taboos and freedom of self expression, we’re also expanding our understanding of gender. Well, maybe understanding is a bit strong. Traditional western religion would have us believe that gender is a purely dualistic/binary thing. Adam and Eve, procreation and all that. That anything outside of that is “wrong”. At worst an “abomination”, at best a mistake of nature.

At GenderdotOrgyou can find an excellent variety of gender related articles, statistical reports and more. Among the various tools there the (.pdf) Gender Variance Model and the (.pdf) Guide to Using the Gender Variance Model.

The model and guide above are teaching/lecture tools to be used to assist in gender education, so are pretty easily assimilated if one begins with an open mind and a bit of self awareness and life experience to go with it.

Readers might want to download at least the Model above, to help follow along. But the guide itself is a worthwhile read, and I’ll only be using snippets here. (It’s tiny. Only takes a couple of seconds even on dialup)

From the guide: Intro

Transgendered people are the most stigmatized and misunderstood of the larger sexual minorities (Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, Transgender). Since gender follows physical sex for most people, transgenderism and even transsexualism are almost impossible to understand by those who are not transgendered themselves. While transgendered people are most familiar with gender variant expressions and cross-gender identities, there are many other forms of gender variance exhibited by all kinds of people – regardless of their social or gender identities. Revealing these other forms of gender variance shows how common it really is – and thus provides the all-important context for understanding transgendered people.

The basic concepts are as follows:

First, we must separate sex from gender:

Sex is the physical anatomy and biology that determines whether someone is male, female, or intersexed (formerly called hermaphroditic)

Gender is a psychosocial construct used to classify a person as male, female, both, or neither. Gender encompasses all of human behavior, including sexuality.

Those people who cannot or choose not to conform to societal gender norms associated with their physical sex are Gender Variant. It is very important to stress that many people choose to be gender variant in some form and do not consider themselves ‘born that way’.

Alot of folks would fall into non traditional gender variances without even realizing it. For instance the male nurse, the female construction worker, the long haired male, the agressive/outspoken female. These are all Gender Variances, albeit small ones. Today, most of us take these gender variences in stride. Not all that long ago women wearing pants would have fallen here. As the cultural norm changes, so does the level of gender variance.

Transgender is an umbrella term used to describe visibly Gender Variant people who have gender identities, gender expressions or gendered behaviors not traditionally associated with their birth sex.

Transgender is often mistakenly understood to mean Transsexual. Transsexual people, who have undergone or seek to undergo sex reassignment, comprise a minority within the transgender population. Most transgendered people do not wish to change their sexual anatomy.

Transgender can also mean anyone who transcends the conventional definitions of ‘man’ and ‘woman’, and who use a wide variety of terms to self-identify.
Transgendered people are usually categorized by their Gender Vector, which describes the direction of the gender change. The two gender vectors are Male-to-Female (MTF), or Female-to-Male (FTM).

It’s important to clarify two common misconceptions about transgenderism :
Transgender is not a sexual orientation. However, it is a sexual identity that has become politicized, and so it is now commonly added to the list of other sexual minorities, which are sexual orientations – as in Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual and Transgender.

It’s important to note that this is where alot of folks, even those within the LBGTQ community, become confused. Why does a MTF Transperson then live as a lesbian? Many people will assert that if a man believes he was born to a be a woman then s/he “should” be attracted to men. The movie NORMAL, starring Jessica Lang and Tom Wilkinson addresses alot of trans issues in a believable and touching examination of love. Why does the Butch lesbian find herself more often attracted to “straight” women who seem not to fall into the category of gender variant? Women who appear particularly feminine, as our culture perceives/defines it? Could these examples lead us to the reasoning that there is more to the question of gender than “identity”? Could there possibly be more than two genders based on biology/sex?

There’s alot more info in the guide that I’m not going to cover, and alot of resources on the Internet for anyone who cares to further explore their understanding of gender and gender identity, but this is it for today from your favorite (dare I hope?) Queer blogger.A good place to start is Gender Watch at ZNet.

I extend a challenge to you my most excellent friends and readers. Just as an excercize in self awareness. Make a list of ways that you might be gender variant. Don’t panic, my lovely straight friends, your gender variances don’t make you “other gendered”. Just a way to look into the subject based on current societal norms, and perhaps the insight will assist in your understanding of other people. Have fun and open your minds and hearts!!

Now, regular readers of Thorne’s World know, I offer you a treat. Your reward, if you’ve made it this far, (although I’m sure some of you horndogs skip to the bottom just for these links!!). Venusday erotica links. Since this is my first official post at SirensChronicles, I’ll include a little disclaimer:

the author is not responsible for the reader’s reactions to the materials in the following links. The content included may be offensive to some readers and is not intended for minors. If the reader finds her/himself getting flushed, having a rapid heartbeat or other symptoms of excitement, i
t is the reader’s responsibilty to discern whether the symptoms are indicative of the necessity of a 911 call, or of a good time.

How was that for a “little” disclaimer?!

Both of today’s selections come from textfiles.com. Your first enticing romp is a trans fantasy that would make even the straightest het’s libido rise!! (Remember folks, spaghetti is straight; until you heat it up!!)

Fantasy Cruise part 1
Fantasy Cruise part 2

Our second story is a doozie, entitled To Worship You
It’s a sexy psychological romp from the mind of a het Bottom (Switch) Playing at top in a BD/SM scenario. Juicy!!!

I’ll be back next week with more Venusday fun, so until next time, remember everybody:

Up early on this incredibly beautiful Venusday. Sipping my way through my second cuppa (most excellent Kona blend beans brought as a “tip” from a tattoo client who loves me!) Yummmmay! The GirlyBoi is out n about for a couple hours this morning, readying my Mother-in-Law’s swamp cooler for our devastatingly hot desert summer, and picking up a few goodies for our Welcome to the Circle of Mother’s mom’s day celebration in honor of all of we moms but especially our new mom, Fawn, tomorrow.

This morning, having been on a severe Fibromyalgia Flare-Up for nearly a month now, I’m feeling especially grateful for my loving partner, and once again in awe of our love. I’m going to start our with a very relevant song:

Crush
–Dave Matthews Band

And a few entries from my old journals after a lil backstory, (and then I’ll post some sexy links for everybody!)

Our Story

I met my GirlyBoi in 1985, in a “Videotech” (remember those?? Back when MTV made it’s debut, all of a sudden live bands in bars were passe. Instead, we danced to blaring stereo systems with huge screens and “VJ’s”). I was a cocktail waitress, my voluptuous self all but bursting out of my uniform of white short-shorts and a girly “T” with the bar logo on it. I was a full time art student, saving money for a trip to Europe. I had a boyfriend at home. (My only live-in in 8 years of being a single mom). He was on his way out, but I hadn’t quite figured out how to send him packin’.
She was hot. She was a dancin’ fool and always stood (never sat) at the end of a row of booths, closest to the dance floor. She wore a typical ’80′s dyke “mullet”, that with her natural dark brown curls, framed her beautiful face. She had (and still has) perfectly straight white teeth and blue eyes so deep you could swim in them, a tight body with narrow boyish hips contrasted by a heart shaped ass, sheathed in the style of the day; parachute pants. Slick and shiny and just tight enough. She topped the look off with a variety of boyish t-shirts and polos under a vest. Every time I saw her my stomach was in my throat.
I used to trade sections with the other “tails”, so I could wait on her, and with my usual confidence, decided that I had to have her and set about my seduction.

A month later, when I left for Europe, I still hadn’t managed to hook that lil fishy. She was sweet, a great tipper, we danced on my breaks; we flirted and she seemed to like me, but that was it. No moves, no kiss, no asking me out for breakfast after shift.

What was up with that??? How could she possibly resist my girlish charms? Hadn’t I seduced the best of them? Had nary a man from college professor to MD failed to fall under my spell once I had chosen to bewitch them?

Waaaiiiit a minute. Men. They were all men.

Oh, I’d played with girls, in group of mutual fun sexual experimentation, but those were bi girls, (like me??). Sexual pioneers and players, free love and love the one you’re with-ers.

The fact was, I’d never seduced a butch lesbian, and she thought I was straight! I realized that my subtle “come hither” looks, intently hanging on her every word, complimentary flirting, and sensual hand on hand or hair brushed from her face gestures were not cutting it. The things that would have had anything with a penis panting and paying for the motel room, seemed to be lost on this lil butch. What was a grrrrlll to do??

Fact was, I was scared to death. What if I was reading everything wrong? What if she didn’t want me, wasn’t attracted to me?? I had nothing-no experience by which to gauge my seduction efforts nor her response. What if, Goddess forbid, I made a stronger play and was rejected?!! Oh, horror of horrors!!! It wasn’t like I’d never had to be a sort of pro-active aggressor before. There was the occasional male who was just too shy to take that final step, and I had no problem by that point, doing what was necessary to get the ball rolling. But I was sure of all the signs, the signals with men. It seemed that with a woman I was in uncharted waters!!

So if I tell the truth, I went to Europe for 3 weeks, and It took me another month after my return to be sure enough and get the courage to take the next step. Egads, I still hadn’t managed to get the boyfriend to move out, but I’d all but broken up with him despite his whining, and was rarin’ to go. I wanted this grrrlll like I’d never wanted anyone in my life. The forbidden fruit was dangling right within reach, if I could only reach out and pluck it, it would be the sweetest taste of my existence, I just knew it.

Tammy and I were “buddies” by then, and when I took an early shift off, it was nothing new for me to hang out and party with her. We had a few drinks, went to the bathroom to do a line, and that was it. It was my moment, and I knew it. Just before she opened the bathroom door for me on the way back to the dance floor, I turned around and kissed her.

Seriously. Sensuously, Slowly.
I stopped. Smiled.
Without a word, turned to go out.

She grabbed my arm and asked “What the hell was that”? I smiled. “But…” she stammered, “But… you’ve got a boyfriend!”
I grabbed her hand and pulled her back toward the dance floor, replying, “What’s a kiss between friends”?

That was it. She was mine.

And although I didn’t know it at the time; mine forever. We loved and made love. Went in and out of our relationship and friendship mode for the next 4 years. She was my one girl love, and I was still chasing the heterosexual dream. She was there to pick me up and rub my back and make love to me, or not; at my whim or will, between “boys”. She was my heart and soul, but I didn’t know how to be a lesbian.

To make a long story longer, I lost her for almost 10 years. I broke up with her completely in order to marry my Jerry. My “soulmale”, knowing that with her as my safety net, I’d never give myself completely to my relationship with him. In 1998, he died. I thought I was done with men. He was “the one”, and I loved him deeply and completely. I had come to realize that I was a gay woman who just happened to love a man. In my vulnerability and confusion in the wake of his death all I could do for weeks was alternate between wishing he weren’t gone, and wanting my Tammy’s love and comfort. But she was long lost to me, and I didn’t know how to find her or even if I should try to look. I was afraid to find a woman for fear of breaking her heart the way I did my Tammy, and in the end, stayed with what I knew; the comfortable ease of heterosexual relationships, where I knew the responses; understood how to play the game.

Providence reunited Tammy in 1999, and we renewed our “friendship”, but talked of our love only in the past tense. Then came the day that always came sooner or later. The beginning of the end of another straight relationship. Another man I’d tried to love. A broken man, terribly damaged, who I tried to fix, and ended up broken, myself.

I began searching for a girl. Signed up on tickle and some other partner seeking sites, and discovered soon that I was a fool. I wanted none of them. It was Tammy I was seeking. She wasn’t there. She was MIA again in her wandering life, and I hadn’t heard from her in some time. I’ll let my old journals tell the story from there:

Oh. My. Gawdess.,”So, what’s the deal??? I always say, be careful what you pray (ask) for, right?? Why?? Cuz you just might get it. And I’ve been so careful…I thought. I didn’t do any actual magickal work. No spells, petitions….not even a lil candle. Of course I’ve been thinking of her. How could I not?? She was my one girl love.
Ever.
Always. But how messed up is that? I knew, even after all these years she’d
come if I called. So I didn’t call. And I didn’t call. And I didn’t mean to dream of her. I’ve studiously avoided even fantasizing about her. Lately tho my thoughts just kept turning to her..and I’d be worried. Concerned. We have this connection, you see…..
Still, I couldn’t trust my own motives, given my rising libido. Not wanting to just have an affair that’s only sex, but not wanting anything that would impact or compromise my life in any way, and absolutely not being willing to break another heart. Because grrrlllzzz fall in love. And no matter, I knew it would only be a matter of time, if I became involved with a grrl, before she would be hurt. And my sweet Tammette?? The grrrl love of my life and lifetime friend?? Sure, I could have called her. I didn’t. I was afraid my need would pour over her like water and she’d come running (again) to save me from drowning. And oh…how sweet. And how good. And then her precious heart would break yet again. So I didn’t call.
But today she called me.
And my heart pounded like it would burst from my chest and sprout wings and fly.
And my tummy was sick with fluttering butterflies.
And the heat rising from between my thighs threatened to choke me.
And I swore to myself I wouldn’t tell her.
But then she told me how lonely she was….
and I laughingly said we should hook up and fix each other for awhile….
and the love in her voice when she said “”what’s wrong, babe”"? Broke my heart and my vow and my resolve and in tears I told her all.
And now I can’t stop thinking of her. She’s supposed to call me tonight and I’m like a teenager waiting for a crush to call. My heart and body are on fire and I want her sooo bad!!!
I want to lie in bed with her like we used to and spend hours just kissing. I want to lie back and let her love and worship me like only she can. I want to cup her small breasts in my hands and….Oh, Goddess, she is so beautiful!!!
This is so messed up. I must have sent my need out to her. That’s what sux sometimes about being a witch!! *wild cackle* You have to be so freaking careful!!!!
Damn!
And what if she does come out to visit?
Can we love again?
Can we fill the need in each other without breaking each other’s hearts yet again?

The whole truth is, that no matter that I’ve “”played” at love and sex a few women, (back in my wild single days)
Tammette
is
the
only
grrrllll
that has ever done
it
for me.
Ever. Period.
And I think that’s probably because I loved her.
(Also because she’s the sexiest lil soft butch I’ve ever seen!!! She’s the perfect lil boi-grrrlll. Pretty face, soft and tough in just the right mixture. Never confused about who or what she is. Just incredibly beautiful/sexy/hot!! And damn, can that girl dance! And kiss. And play bass. And kiss. And sing. And kiss.
Did I mention kiss??!! *cackle*
And I’m sooo excited that she’s coming! All sex aside, it’s true. I always get this way about seeing her. Good Goddess….she’s the longest, truest love of my life. 20 years!!! I haven’t seen her for almost 2 years. We said we were gonna take this part slow, but it’s so foolish! We were talking on AIM today and I just said “”so when are you coming??”" And she had some small financial concerns, so I just went online and got the ticket!!! So, that was that!!!

Tammette came into Berdoo at 8:30 and I picked her up at the station. When I pulled up I could hardly breathe for excitement. I literally thought my heart was gonna explode (It was almost freakin’ scary…like a super intense panic attack!! *L*) She was so beautiful, and perfect and absolutely my Tammette. I hugged her and we held each other and kissed a lil hello…and nervous-talked and I could hardly keep my eyes on the road for wanting to drink her beauty until I was drunk on her. And I just heard her stir…and I’ve taken too long a break from the computer now, to be able to finish…..(It’s about an hour of cuddles later than when I started this update! *g*)
The summary is this:
I’m still as absolutely in love with this woman as ever I was.
She still adores me as if we were together through all these years.
I can’t stop looking a her….touching her….kissing (*cackle* …Uh-did I mention that grrrlll can KISS?!!!) I almost can’t believe that this is real.
My heart seems to have taken up permanent residence in my throat.
I love….
Oh, Goddess, I love…….”,

That’s it, in a nutshell. I love.

If you’ve made it this far , you surely deserve a reward so here are your Venusday Love Links!!
My only offering today is a reasonably well written erotic retelling of “Beauty and the Beast”, that I found under a genre/fetish heading of “Furry”. I’ve heard a little of this furry fetish, but don’t really get the whole deal. I think this one requires a bit more research.

Yummy! She’s home!! Ta, everyone!

Enjoy! And remember:

I woke up early this morning and made our coffee. It’s nice to “spoiler” instead of the “spoilee” once in awhile. (And to be honest, it always comes with many rewards!!) The kids are enjoying their little family out in their trailer today, with Aaron home from work for the weekend, and that leaves the lesbian Grama and Grammy free for another Sensual Saturnday! In a bit, just a little later, I’m going to read these stories (all three) to my GirlyBoi and see if I can’t spoil her a little more.

I’m likin’ this new embed a song deal. Thanks again to betmo for doing the research and passing along the info.

Today’s song is raw and powerful. Not for all tastes, but a worthwhile listen to expand one’s mind if for no other reason. The GirlyBoi says: “The music’s alright, but the lyrics suck”. My hopelessly romantic Butch!! She’s so sweet. (But luckily for me, she does know how to do it, even if she doesn’t care to listen to songs about it) because I, on the other hand, can really get behind the primal sort of passion expressed in this song. I mean, I love to make love, but every once in awhile a serious fuck is definitely in order. I like the “Closer to god” reference, too, and love the expression of getting to that Mystical Union place from raw animalistic fucking, instead of the usual sort of romantic and Tantric descriptions. In Thorne’s World, both ways are valid avenues of approach. It also speaks to the addict/escapist part of me, as nothing gets me out of my own head like serious animal style fucking!

So have a listen, and do comment! I’d love to hear how others feel about this. (The last verse is practically whispered. You’ll have to wear headphones or just take my word for the lyrics).

Today, in honor of my GirlyBoi and her sweet sensitivities, I’m going to start with a well written piece of Xena Warrior Princess fan fiction.

A little backstory for those who may not know. Although the characters of Xena and Gabrielle are portrayed as “straight” during the 6 season TV series, (albeit with a few bits of subtle and not-so-subtle innuendo), they commanded a large lesbian audience due to the theme of deep love and mutual “completion” that the two characters experience. There is a huge fandom, many of which who write fan-fic under various sub genres from “uber” (X and G set in different times/reincarnations, etc), and “classic”, (stories that generally follow the storyline and characters of the series) and then to sort of sub sub genres of “alternative” (exploring the erotic/sexual love between the two women) as well as “erotic” (general sex straight and gay and bdsm, etc.) These are kind of general categories. The writers and collectors are, for the most part amateurs, so the genres and sub genres aren’t always clear. Nonetheless, there are some decent writers in the bunch, a few of whom have gone on to be published. The most inclusive example of Xena FanFic I’ve discovered resides here, at The Bard’s Corner

A very well written story by Linda Crist, entitled Wings of Love is sweetly erotic without being descriptively sexual, and gives a lovely insight into the type of romantic sexuality that many lesbian Xena and Gabby fans (among them my GirlyBoi) enjoy. I have to admit that that as an avid reader as well as a very imaginitive and visual person, I do enjoy this type of implied erotica since I get tired of the limited vocabulary of much of the harder stuff.

That said, here is another Xena/Gabrielle story with a bit more “meat” to sink your teeth into. This one is by Klancy7 and is entitled Warriors In Need and includes a “Disclaimers for mild violence, and implied, but not genuine, nonconsensual sex”

On another topic entirely, but keeping in theme of Venudsay Love (aka Sexual Saturnday), the next story seemed particularly apropos after watching the Barbara Walters 20/20 show on trans kids. It was touching and incredibly courageous.

So, I offer a reasonably unique trans story entitled Transsexual Temptation And Straight Desire for your fun and possible edification.

Guys, (males; men), do give this one a try. It’s pretty sexy and you might just be surprised. Grrrllls… it worked for me too with just a tiny tweak of my usual imagination.

Have a great Venusday, everyone and remember: