I keep hoping that someone will get hurt, so I can offer them a bandage.

Does that make me bad?

Me n my GirlyBoi have been pretty busy around Pair – O – Dykes Ranch lately. Working hard to get the Stained Glass and Custom Tile studio all set up. It’s pretty cool, actually. I think it just rocks to have a partner that I can work and play with and still enjoy. Maybe because we’ve been spending so much time together, this song keeps running through my head; A Bicycle Built for Two”.

Some of you youngun’s might not remember it- truth be told it was before my time, but I do have fond memories of my teenage years and even my twenty-somethings at Venice Beach and Catalina Island or even on camping trips at Salton Sea or Big Bear Lake, pedaling around with a sweetie or even a best gal-pal on a tandem beach cruiser.

I started wondering if they still made them or if I’d have to find an old one and fix it up for us so I did a lil googling and found some pretty great prices and lots of beach cruisers (both single and tandem) at Makai Bikes. I think it would be great exercise for (me) us and some fun times, too. I used to love to ride my bike here in the desert just at sunset, when the bats come out and a special hush seems to fall. The desert winds that usually start blowing around four in the afternoon often slow to a light breeze or stop altogether just at dusk.
I’m really coveting this gorgeous burgundy 7 speed Tandem. It’s on sale, too!
Of course, the GirlyBoi had to be contrary and says she prefers the black tandem beach bike.
Hahahaha! I know, I said it’s been fun working and playing together, but that’s definitely not to say that we always agree. Hmmmm…. I’ll get the burgundy. Thornie has her ways….
Peace, out!

Can you believe this crap?? My muse is on strike!!I woke up this beautiful Sunday morning with full intentions of writing a bit of fun for Jamie’s new meme, Take This Tune. I have a story about would-be Bankrobbers (one of them is none other than your Thornie) floating around in my head to suit her “Outlaw” theme song this week, but when I checked my email I found this note from my muse: (my responses in italics and parentheses)

On Strike due to Unfair Labor Practices

To whom it may concern, (WTF?? “To whom it may concern? Who else would it concern but me? That lil bitch knows exactly who she’s writing to!)

You are hereby notified that I am on, and shall remain on strike until the following conditions are met:

1. Ice cream. Ever since you got back on Atkin’s we haven’t had any ice cream. Those so-called Atkin’s “candy bars” ain’t cutting it. (What is she talking about?? Ice cream? We hardly ever eat ice cream! And those Atkin’s Indulge bars are good! And since when does she say “ain’t”?)
2. I want a bath! Candles and essential oils and maybe get the GirlyBoi to wash our hair. (OMGods! She knows we don’t take a lot of baths in the Summer! It’s just too hot to soak in the tub, and a lukewarm or cool bath just isn’t the same. Although it is nice when the Girlyboi washes our hair.)
3. Take more pictures! We stopped just when we were getting good at it! (I want to take more photos too, I was having a blast with it. But that went kaput when the camera took a shit. It can’t be helped!)
4. Road Trip!!! (Oh, Muse… I know it’s been since forever since we took a road trip. It would be awesome to head up the coast to visit Susan in SLO, or Lill in Sacramento, or to hit the big Hiways and go see Shelly and Mr. Shelly in Texas. But even if we could scrape up gas and road food money, we can’t risk taking lil Golda that far- she’s all we’ve got!)
5. I want a new tattoo, or more work on our back piece! I’m not feeling like a “Phoenix Rising”! I feel like wet ashes! ( Well… we can’t get the back piece worked on right now, that would take more money than we can afford.)

If these demands are not met I will NEVER work again!! No more blog posts, no more painting or tattoos, no more collage or sculpture or, or, or… anything!!
Signed,
Your Muse

Oh she can be such a pain in the ass, sometimes! Doesn’t she realize that I’m just as bummed about that stuff? Well, here’s my response. It doesn’t sound to patronizing, does it? Ehhh… she’s not to bright; she’ll never notice as long as I placate her. I hope she’ll reply soon. Peace, out!

Dear Muse,
I know we’ve been working awfully hard lately, what with the microposts and eZine for BlogonSmog and all the housecleaning and sorting and setting up the new studio. Also money has been tight and we haven’t been able to get out and buy a new pair of shoes or even some $.99 store goodness. I’m sorry that I’ve been neglecting you. I’ll just have to come up with some fun for us that we can do on a tight budget.
So here is my counter offer:

1. I won’t do Ice Cream, but how does berries and cream sound?
2. Eda is coming to visit soon and I’m going to teach her how to tattoo. She’s such a great artist and craftsperson I’m sure she can handle some of the black linework on our left arm. So there it is, new tattoo coming soon.
3. Let’s paint our nails midnight blue and we’ll foil them to look like fireworks against the night sky. Won’t that be fun?
4. The moon is just past full. Want to dance naked tonight? We can build a fire in the brazier and howl to the Coyotes if you want, too.
5. And we can watch Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory (the original) and Big Fish again.

Sorry, Muse. That’s the best I can do right now. I miss you, I need you. Please come back to work.

Love, Thornie