… almost. Well, kinda. Tell me people, do you think that The Pioneer Woman has ever gotten stuck halfway through a head change?

anti pioneer woman head change

It all started on Wednesday. My roots were screaming at me, I was a little down in the dumps from being soooo broke and I decided a head change was in order. If I can’t change what’s goin’ on inside, I might as well change the outside, eh?

Can you imagine Ree Drummond scrambling through a box of old beauty products (despite Shelly’s warnings about the dangers of using old beauty products- yikes!) to come up with a motley assortment of stuff to put on her hair?? At home?? Hahaha… let’s “keep it real”, shall we?

Anyway, your lil ol’ Thornie, aka the Anti – Pioneer Woman, was goin’ for it, come hell or high water! I came up with an old box of blond highlights with no toner or cap, a bottle of Loreal “copper fury” tint with no directions, a box of $.99 Store Dark Brown and… Eureka! A dusty bottle of 30 volume creme developer! (We won’t even go into the Manic Panic pinks and greens and the Electric Shock blue I found – I guess I didn’t need that drastic a change!).

Halfway through my head change plan I got a surprise.

Company!

I told you about my surprise visitors? They stayed for 2 days.

I have been wandering around Pair – O – Dykes Ranch for four freaking days like this! Company, chores, tattoos… Some time around day 2 I began channeling Jeff Foxworthy and I just couldn’t shut him up.

anti pioneer woman wet bleached hair

You might be the Anti – Pioneer Woman, if…

you greet and entertain surprise company with a half bleached, wet head with no toner on it.

You might be the Anti – Pioneer Woman, if…

your own version of The Marlboro Man (in my case, the GirlyBoi) grumbles and whines “I can’t do this” as she pulls your hair and spatters stinging chemicals on your skin while you are slapping at her hands yelling “Not like that!”

You might be the Anti – Pioneer Woman, if…

you use up all the aluminum foil in the pantry while doing your hair.

You might be the Anti – Pioneer Woman, if…

you bleach your hair wearing a white “wife beater” with a black bra!

You might be the Anti – Pioneer Woman, if…

you have to rinse your hair in the tub and…

the best photo you can get of yourself looks like this:
anti pioneer woman rinsing hair in the bathtub

And finally…

You might be the Anti – Pioneer Woman, if…

four freaking days later you are still wondering when you can get to phase two of the Great Head Change Project!
It’s true… I am The Anti – Pioneer Woman!

So what do you think? I’ll just betcha Ree Drummond never gets stuck halfway through a head change!

Jest keepin’ it real in Thornesworld… peace, out!