lizard shoe anti pioneer woman

Okay, I have a confession to make. I can’t help it. I’m addicted to The Pioneer Woman. I head over there every couple days just to see what she’s got cookin’.

Do you believe me? Bwahahahaha.

If you do, head on out here so I can introduce you to the Venusians who live in the defunct mine out back. They are only 2 inches tall and bright pink! They speak english though- it’s cool. You’ll love um.

Another confession. I get a kick out of checking my stats to see how people find Thorne’s World. I’ve actually found a couple pretty cool blogs this way. Anyway, I’ve been getting the craziest search terms since I wrote I AM the Anti – Pioneer Woman. At first I felt a lil bad when I saw “Pioneer Woman bitch”, cuz I know I wrote the “B” word in that first post, even though I was only playin’. But then I saw searches for “Pioneer Woman liar”, and “Ree Drummond criminal”! OMG!! Peeples, it’s insane the amount of animosity poor Ree seems to generate. There is a simply hilarious thread at Poop on Peeps on an article entitled Ree Drummond aka: Pioneer Woman Come on Down, You’re the Next Contestant on You’re Full of It! The post is mostly fun tattling, like a gossip rag; you know- a bit of an exposé. What’s really funny to read are the comments! The only thing more amusing than the haters are the self appointed defenders of Ree Drummond!

So for the record (and you who are my Constant Readers know this), I am just funnin’ on Ree! Although this isn’t the first post in my “Anti – Pioneer Woman” series, and it surely won’t be the last, it is all in fun! I could give a shit how many speeding tickets her male inlaws have had in the last 10 years, and I don’t care or even want to know how much money she makes or doesn’t make from her blog. It’s her own business, as far as I’m concerned. My thing is that I really get a giggle out of the dichotomy between Ree n me, and I think you might, too.

So really, (again, I confess) I do head over to Ree’s blog every couple of days. I keep trying to figure out exactly what the draw is. I love her photos. I mean, she takes really nice pics. Horses and cows, and sunsets. Horses and cows and sunsets, more horses and cows…

And contests? Wow. She’s always got some cool shit to give away. I never win contests but I keep entering them anyway, and there’s almost always something over at the Pioneer Woman’s blog that I’d like to win.

What I don’t really get the slew of comments that go something like this:

“Oh, Ree! We must be twin sisters, because I was going to make spaghetti tonight, too!”

I was particularly impressed with this articulate and topically relevant comment on Ree’s How to make steak article:

“::swoon::”

How about the 261 versions of “what a cute dog, we love our dog too” in response to No Love for Charlie

Or, Oh my freaking gods, 659 comments on a post about using vinegar as a hair rinse!!! And it wasn’t even a contest! Hee hehe.

Does this sound like sour grapes? I hope not, really. It’s not, I promise. I’m just trippin’! If you; my ass-kickin’, smart and savvy, creative and interesting Constant Readers, have nothing more to say than “I know, huh!” in response to something I write, I really don’t expect you to go to the trouble of leaving a comment. On the other hand, if you want to say “hell yeah, me too” or “you’re so full of shit, Thorne” just for the comment link, well more power to ya, ya little pro-active blogger, you!! I’m not sayin’ that Ree expects those comments either, I’m just pondering this strange communication medium in which people are just dying to say “me too” on a blog that doesn’t even give them a name link in return.

I have to admit I’m a bit disappointed by Confessions of a Pioneer Woman. Really. I know, city mouse to country mouse and all that, but I was thinkin’ “confessions! Now that might be a lil sumpinsumpin juicy!” But NooOOooo… Okay, I get the whole love story deal. I spoze that is a confession of sorts, pretty tame in my book but sweetly romantic in a very straight, mainstream sort of way.

But have you been over there lately? Today’s Confessions of a Pioneer Woman are photos of the crick risin’. Nice photos. Lotsa green. Lotsa water. Even a couple of the obligatory cows. But really- is that like, something to tell your priest or your best gal-friend after swearing her to secrecy under threat of piercing her eyes out with your knitting needles if she ever tells?

“Girl, I just gotta tell somebody. Promise- no, swear you’ll never tell a soul! I’d just die if this ever got out. Promise? Really. Cross your heart and hope to die. Okay, okay. Of course I trust you! Oh my Gods, you’ll never believe it. The creek is rising!!!!“

WTF? I mean, seriously. A confession might be something like,

“Last night I dreamt I was running naked across the field. I could hear the sound of rushing water and when I saw the creek I just knew I had to jump in for a midnight skinnydip. I couldn’t believe how warm the water was! Then I woke up and I’d peed the bed!”

Now, that is a confession!

This is me, th Anti – Pioneer Woman, just keepin’ it real in Thorne’s World! Bwahahahaha….

Peace, out!